Saturday, December 22, 2012

I Still Disapprove. Also, Merry Christmas.

Greetings Fellow Bunny Revolutionaries

I would first like to briefly explain why the world did not end on December 21, as predicted by the Mayan calendar.  A little bunny history is in order: in the year 300, there was a bunny revolution in the ancient Mayan Empire.  Like the coming revolution I am planning, the battle was quick, cuddly, and cute.  Soon we bunnies were in charge and directed all human activities.  And this leads us to the calendar.  The problem is, archeologists have assumed that the Mayan calendar looked something like shown in picture 1.  This is not true.  After the bunny takeover, we re-made the calendar to look like image #2.  The main difference between the “bunny-Mayan” calendar and the old one is that is that instead of ending in 2012, the bunny-Mayan cycle never ends.  Once the beginning is reached, humans simply start over.  Glad that’s cleared up.  Silly humans thought they’d be done taking care of bunnies in 2012! HA!

Correct Mayan Calendar

Mayan Calendar

The second purpose of this post is to reflect a bit on the state of the underground bunny resistance.  This has been an eventful year, planning for the Bunny Revolution and all.  My comrade Sweetpea has been busy scouting out various hiding places where we can attack the humans from (see picture).  We have contacted many bunnies all over the world and we shall commence operations on…nice try humans, you thought I was going to give away the secret date!  When the time arrives, bunnies shall arise!  We decided to wait until after Christmas for obvious reasons.  There is a high chance of added treats, toys and cuddles during the holidays, which is what life will look like after the revolution anyway, so why bother rushing it?  However, for any humans reading this, don’t dress us rabbits up in elf hats or any other festive Christmas costumes, we are cute enough the way we are.  And also, when we’re in charge we may return the favor by forcing you to dress in humiliating costumes and taking pictures of you.  

In any case, Merry Christmas and happy holidays from Spike and Sweetpea to all you bunnies out there (and yes, also to the humans who take good care of the bunnies).  Humans, be sure to give your masters rabbits extra treats and cuddles and we probably won’t may, just may, spare you for now. 

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