Monday, March 5, 2012

Letters from Prison

Surviving on a Diet of Snow and Anger

Hello again. As you can see by the picture, my human caretakers have upgraded the security of my living arrangements. After shredding two lamp cords, multiple surround sound system cords, and a guitar hero controller, they were finally at their wits end (exactly my goal).

They call it the “Bunny Supermax Facility.” I call it a foolish waste of time. It’s not possible to contain a bunny. This afternoon they left me and Sweetpea alone and I easily broke out and grabbed a computer for an update on the bunny revolution.

For you bunnies reading this, our time is close at hand. My partner in crime and I have been reduced to a strict diet of snow only. Yes, they also give us lettuce, pellets, hay, fruits of various kinds but they once made us eat snow and I resent it. Because of this and other travesties, I call on every bunny around the world to make the finishing arrangements for the rabbit takeover. Remember, we need the humans alive so they may continue to serve our every whim. In that glorious future of bunny rule we will let them eat snow. And then they will learn that snow is cold and doesn't take very good.

For you humans reading this, please refer to the picture on the right for a taste of your future. Soon your rabbits will be bringing you before me and I shall judge you. Because that’s what we bunnies do and I am particularly good at it.

In fact, it’s my favorite (besides eating, cuddling with Sweetpea, and getting scratched behind the ears). The main role humans will play in the future is providing bunnies with huge quantities of food, never-ending cuddles, and ample opportunities for us to judge them. If any human thinks that sounds like the life they currently lead, the bunny revolution has started! Soon more and more bunnies will require more and more human caretakers and then our epic battle will be complete. For those of you who doubt that we bunnies will have the last laugh, I will use a quote from my role model in life: I PITY THE FOOL!

For now I must return to the “Supermax” cage and pretend that I’m angry about not being able to escape. I do this quite well.


PS: Sweetpea says hello to everyone.

1 comment:

  1. Hi. I'm a human and I have to confess that Mr. Willie Rabbit jumped the gun. The bunny revolution has been going on in our house for the past 10 years. Shh don't be too hard on him. I like working for our bunny overlords...honestly.


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